Life Is Not As I Know It
by Stephycats7785
Summary: Leah only wanted to get away from the strict confines of La Push and the memories of Sam. She never expected to find out vampires and shifters were real. She also never expected to end up in the middle of war or to fall in love with a leech.


**Title: The World Is Not As I Know It**

**Pairing: Leah/Jasper**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Leah only wanted to get away from the strict confines of La Push and the memories of Sam. She never expected to find out vampires and shifters were real. She also never expected to end up in the middle of war or to fall in love with a leech.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

I knew that my parents would never understand my choice to leave La Push in the last year of school. They could never get the reasons behind my actions even though I know that they tried to understand because they loved me. I think my dad could understand more than my mother and he was the one who finally convinced her it would be alright. My father and I had always been close and he knew what Sam's leaving had done to me and how I was constantly haunted by the memories of what if. How could I stay in a place where I would never be able to find a moments peace without being tormented by memories of the past? Everywhere I went on the reservation I got looks of pity or heard whispers about the rumors going on involving me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I knew that I had to get out of there.

It was pretty cool of my dad's best friend Charlie Swan to let me stay at his place. His daughter was apparently moving in with him because her mother had remarried or something like that. We would be sharing a room until the Chief of police could get the extra room all set up for me. I would go home on weekends if I wanted and I did not tell my parents this because I knew it would make them more reluctant to get me go, I wasn't planning on visiting for a while. This whole move was to help me get over everything in La Push and constantly visiting would only make the entire process take even longer. No, in my mind it was better to make a clean break and be done with it. I would call all the time, but the phone was safer than for me to take the risk of running in to one Sam Uley. I'd gotten pretty good at avoiding him these last couple of months.

Since Charlie's kid would not be arriving for a few more days that meant I had to start in a new school alone. It didn't really bother me since I knew a lot of the Forks kids from when they would come to reservation in the summer. I was not friends with any of them, but I was not friends with anyone and so I did not see it as a problem. This trip was not about making friends, but more of a trip of self-discovery to help me figure out who I was. I had once been Sam's Leah and now with Sam gone I was just Leah and I had yet to figure out what that means.

Charlie had offered to drive me to school, but I told him that I would rather walk. I used to walk everywhere as a way to clear my mind and I decided to start doing it again because if there was a time I needed my mind to be clear it would be now. I didn't wear anything special for my first day of school just ripped jeans and a black tank top with my dad's old faded brown leather jacket. He had given it to me the day I came to stay with Charlie. I put my hair up in to a ponytail and wore no makeup. Makeup is supposed to make you feel pretty, but I didn't want to feel pretty since I had nobody to look good for anymore. My feet were covered in black combat boots and all in all I thought I looked very intimidating which again is fine with me. I grew up around a bunch of guys so looking intimidating was kind of my thing. I hadn't started to try looking nice until I developed feelings for Sam. It's nice to get back to my roots.

When I finally reached Forks high there were dozens of students milling around and most of them stopped to point at me. They weren't really subtle in this place were they? I scowled at a few of the students just for good measure before making my way over to where I would find a Ms. Cope who gave me my class schedule. I found out that I auto mechanics first period and that was cool with me because I loved working with cars. I had just shoved my schedule in my bag when a dirty blond haired guy with dimples and round cheeks made his way over to me. I recognized him as one of the many kids who had gone surfing at First Beach.

"Hi, my name is Mike Newton." He stated with a smile offering me his hand. "You must be the new transfer from La Push."

"No, I am from Neverland." I snapped out, but it didn't seem to bother him and so I shook his hand anyways hoping to get him away from me. It wasn't that the gesture of introducing himself to me bothered me, but more of a fact that most of my problems were guy problems and I did not need another guy in my life so soon after Sam if ever that is. "I'm Leah and I am going to be late for class if I don't hurry up. So it has been nice meeting you and everything, but I have got to get going."

Mike smiled brightly and to my dismay he started following me. What the hell? If I had wanted a pet to follow me around I would have adopted a puppy from the local shelter. "What class do you have first? I will walk you there since you probably don't know your way around. I have English Lit."

He gave me a hopeful smile and I know it may make me a cruel person, but I was more than happy to squash his hope about us having the first class together. "I have auto mechanics."

"But you're a girl!" His eyes widened as he realized what he had said and I raised my eyebrow in question. He did not want to get in to a conversation about sexism with me. He quickly tried to backtrack. "This is awesome since we don't get a lot of girls in that class. I think the only other female who is in auto mechanics first period is Rosalie Hale."

"Sounds like my kind of girl." I muttered and quickened my pace looking at the map I had been given. Did this guy think I was too stupid to understand a map as well? "Well it was nice meeting you Mike and I am sure I'll see you around."

He didn't bother following me around after that and I was so grateful for that. I found the building where auto mechanics was easily enough and gave a slip to my teacher so they could sign it and I could return it at the end of the day. Once the slip of paper had been signed I was informed that since I was starting in the middle of the year I would have to partner with someone and since most people worked in teams anyways I would not be able to choose my partner.

"You will be working with Rosalie Hale for the rest of the year." Mr. Flynn pointed to a blonde in the back who was glaring at me as if my presence somehow ruined her whole life or something.

I scowled back and made my way over to her. It seems as if we would be building an engine this semester and in the next one we would be given a whole care to rebuild. As she explained this to me I noticed she never once looked at me. It was almost as if she thought herself to be better than me. I sat down next to her and reached out to grab the intake manifold so I would be able to get a better look, but she slapped my hand away and the cold of her skin shocked me. Damn did this chick even have circulation? Her hands were like ice.

"Don't touch anything new girl." She hissed and I don't mean she just said it harshly, I mean she actually hissed. "I have done a lot of work on this and I am not about to lose my A because some new chick thinks she knows a thing or two about cars."

So this Rosalie girl wanted to play the 'I am a bigger bitch' game did she? Well two could play at that game. "First of all I have a name and it is not new girl or is it new chick. My name is Leah and I expect you to use it properly. Second of all, I don't think I know a thing or two about cars, I know that I know a thing or two about cars. My father taught me everything he knows. Also, if you want an A then I would take a look at the half built transmission you have half done. With a mess like that I doubt you could get a barely passing C. You don't like me and that is all fine and good because I do not particularly like you either. The point is that we are partners and if we want to pass than we are going to have to work together. So if you are done trying to be a bitch to me and make me cry, which you won't succeed at because it takes a hell of a lot more than you have to offer to make me burst in to tears, can we get started on this shit already? The more we stand here arguing the longer it is going to take to get this done and over with."

For a moment the beautiful bitch glared at me with a fiery hatred and I simply glared back at her. She probably thought that I was one of those all words and no fire kind of women, but she was dead wrong. I could back up my mouth and she would learn that if she didn't back off. I had dealt with a lot scarier people than Rosalie Hale in my life. Sure she was beautiful in a way even I envied and I hardly ever envied anyone look wise, but just because she looks like she walked straight out of a magazine does not mean I am going to bow down and kiss her feet. Simply being gorgeous does not earn someone points in my book. If you wanted my respect than you had to fucking earn it.

"Fine _Leah,_" She made sure to draw out my name as she narrowed her eyes which I noticed were yellow. Like her eyes was actually yellow like that one demon from the show Supernatural. It was probably contacts because nobody had yellow eyes. "Why don't you take a look at the transmission and see what you can do with it and I will finish up here. You are also sitting with my family and I at lunch so that we can discuss what kind of car we are going to request when the time comes to do so. I have an eye on classics more than plain flash. I am sure you saw the apple red convertible BMW outside when you came in? That belongs to me and the Volvo I am sure you saw parked next to it belongs to my brother."

I tried to recall the parking lot and I did remember the red convertible. My first thought had been wow because I knew I would never be able to afford something like that. I had honestly believed it belonged to a teacher because what kind of teenager can afford something like that? The Volvo didn't really impress me much because I had been too busy eyeing out the motorcycle. I had a thing for bikes and there had been a Ducati parked beside the BMW. I had been tempted to walk over and get a better look, but in the end I hadn't.

"Yeah I saw your car and it's nice. The all leather interior doesn't hurt either." I commented while looking over the transmission that was half built. Truthfully she had done a pretty good job and I had just been a bitch when I told her otherwise. "Who owns the bike?"

My head snapped around when I heard her laugh. It was like there was some big joke I wasn't being let in on. She was smirking and shaking her head. "That belongs to my other brother Jasper. We are twins for the record. Before you ask or hear it from the gossip whores I have three brothers and a sister. All of us are adopted accept for Edward who owns the Volvo."

"I have one annoying bratty brother." I replied and that is what ended the conversation. Apparently she had heard enough and wanted to get to work and so that is what we did.

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As it turns out Rosalie's family wasn't too bad. I mean her boyfriend Emmett was a bit of a pervert, but he was a teen guy and so that was to be expected. The fact was that no guy I knew wasn't a pervert and the ones in La Push were the worst I had seen so far. So I guess the big brute of a teen boy wasn't too bad. He could be kind of funny depending on the topic at hand. I guess that I kind of liked Emmett Cullen because he reminded me of a big and older version of my little brother. He had the dimples and everything. When it came to dealing with him it was as simple as dealing with a little kid. You had to embrace your inner child when he was around.

Edward Cullen or penny head as I have nicknamed in my head, wasn't exactly the most sociable person. He kept staring at me as if he were listening to something else other than the words I spoke. It was actually some really creeper stalker type shit and the weird part is sometimes I wondered if maybe he could hear what I was thinking because if I thought something insulting he would scowl or he would laugh when I had just thought of something funny. It had actually started to freak me out and so I tried to avoid him the best I could. I would talk to him when he asked me a question, but that is basically about it. I knew all the other girls in this school wanted to jump on his dick, but you see creepy stalkers just did not do it for me.

Alice Cullen was the strangest person I have ever met and trust me I have met some strange ones. She was also probably one of the smallest being no taller than 4ft 5in if she was lucky. She had shortly cropped black hair that stuck out in all directions as if she had stuck her finger in a light socket when the electricity was on. I think she must have some sort of hyperactive disorder because all she did was talk and gesture with her hands. She would talk about things we would do in the future as if she knew for certain it would happen. When I would tell her that I doubted we would be doing any of those things she would just laugh and tell me she knew we would before diving off in to the next topic.

I had yet to meet Jasper Hale because apparently his class before lunch had a hold up for some reason. I had to admit that I was kind of excited to put a face to the name. As I had told his sister I had a thing for motorcycles and his bike had certainly caught my attention even if his family had not done the same. It was when all eyes at the table turned to doorway that mine did as well and I couldn't believe what I saw. Were all these Cullen kids out of the world beautiful? I have to admit that I had been secretly hoping he was ugly because no family could have all beautiful children. I mean hadn't they ever heard of the ugly duckling? This was fucking unreal.

Jasper 'another perfect Cullen kid' Hale was tall around 6ft 5 in tall and he had wavy honey blond hair that fell down around his chin. His eyes were the same as his siblings which were gold, but I still think they are wearing contacts maybe as a way to bring them together as a family or something. He was lean with the kind of body you would expect to see on someone who played a sport such as basketball. He probably did a lot of running. Unlike his brothers he didn't have a baby face or even a models face. He had sharp angular curves which made him look older and a little bit frightening. You know how some people say that you can tell a person's age by studying there face? Well if this were true I would have to say Jasper Hale was around two or three hundred years old. He had this wisdom as well as emotional trauma trapped in his eyes. It was hard to look away.

Since all of the Cullen's dressed like super models I didn't bother looking his outfit over. I simply kept staring at him as he made his way over. The closer he got to us the more I had this urge to run. It's like my body was trying to tell me he was dangerous. All I wanted was to get up and run as far as my legs would carry me, but I fought the urge. I wouldn't let this guy scare me away. I wasn't a fucking coward and I had done enough running lately. I already ran from the reservation and I would not go running back because I know what people would think.

"We have a guest." Those were the first words out of his mouth as he approached the table. Jasper did not immediately sit and for a second I wondered if he believed I had invaded his personal space or something. After a moment when Edward nodded to him he sat down. Had he needed permission or something? "I am Jasper Hale."

"Leah Clearwater." I replied not offering him my hand and instead picking up my apple to take a huge bite. None of the others had eaten anything yet and I had waited because I figured they were waiting for their brother. Now that he had arrived none of them ate and since I was starving I wasn't going to wait any longer. I liked to eat and if they had a problem with that then they could take it up with my appetite. "So Rosalie says that Ducati out in the parking lot is yours? That is a lot of machine for a pretty boy to handle."

"Pretty boy?" He actually smiled before looking at his siblings as if silently asking if I was joking. "Well darlin' I think that is the first time I have ever been called pretty before."

"Yeah well it won't be the last." I shot back taking another bite of my apple. "I am pretty sure that someday you will be someone's bitch because you are much to pretty not to be. Maybe you and Edward do a package deal thing. Oh and I am not your darling. You may want to tone down the Southern charm you redneck because in case you forgot the South lost the war."

Emmett burst out laughing and I could see Rosalie smirking as if she wanted to laugh, but would not allow herself. Alice had a dazed and confused look on her face as she stared off in to the distance and Edward was scowling again. It was Jasper who was looking at me like he wasn't sure he could believe I had said what I just had. His eyes narrowed and I was sure he was going to say something, but he never got a chance because Alice stood up quickly and left the lunch room and both Edward and Jasper followed her.

I shrugged chalking it up to them being weird and finished eating my meal. When I noticed Rosalie hadn't touched her apple or anything else on her tray for that matter, I reached over and snagged it. "If you aren't going to eat then I damn sure will. Screw the starving children in the world when you have me. Hey big and dumb are you going to eat yours?"

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I've been at Forks high for a month now and every single day I sit with the Cullen's. I guess we started this weird routine on the first day and I didn't have the energy or need to change it. I would have first period with Rose and then Biology with Alice and finally before lunch I had Trigonometry with Edward. At lunch I would sit with the Cullen's and we would chat while I ate. I had long ago accepted they did not eat for whatever reason. It was alright with me since it meant more food for me in the end. After lunch I had art appreciation with Jasper and it was the stupidest class ever, but there wasn't ever homework and so it worked. Then I had gym and history with Emmett.

Bella had arrived about two weeks ago and ever since then things have been stranger than normal. For an entire week Edward disappeared and nobody would tell me where he went or the reason behind why he left. I knew it had to be something to do with the arrival of Bella because the two events were too close not to be connected. When he came back things went back to normal for a little while until I invited Bella to sit with us. I felt kind of bad knowing that I was not including her in on stuff when her father was gracious enough to let me stay with them. When I did that both Jasper and Edward stopped sitting with us and Bella who seemed to like penny head decided it would be best to sit somewhere else. I was actually really glad because I didn't particularly like Bella and Jasper and penny head were my friends sort of. I would choose them over her any day of the week.

Today I was sitting at our usual table eating baby carrots and trying to ignore Alice who blabbing on and on about this and that and how she wanted to take me shopping. I had managed to avoid a shopping trip so far, but I knew that it would only be a matter of time. The others were quietly talking amongst themselves. Rosalie was telling Emmett about how the teacher of auto mechanics told everyone we were doing the best work and some of the guys were pissed. Jasper the Southern weirdo was staring at me, but I never let it get to me anymore because he did it a lot. I get looks from people all the time for different reasons. Sometimes people stare because they can't believe I am so bitchy and other times it is because they have never seen someone with darker skin.

"So what do you think?" I had to blink a couple of times to realize Alice was still talking and had actually asked me a question. She must have seen the vacant look on my face because she sighed while rolling her eyes. "Esme has invited you over for dinner this week and I kind of already told her that you will come, but I figured that I actually have to ask you if you want to do this."

"Um…" I rubbed the back of my neck unsure of what I should say. I could handle sitting with the Cullen's at lunch, but going to their place is something completely different. I don't even know if we are friends and sometimes I get this feeling that I should hate them even though I did not understand why. Still, they were the only friends I had in Forks and it might be nice to try and become friends with other people. I needed to expand my social pool so that I would be able to move on from my memories of the past. A fresh start is supposed to be a good thing. "Yeah I guess that I can do that. When do you want me to come over?"

The small girl broke out in to a huge smile. "Meet us in the parking lot Friday after school. You can ride home with Jasper on his bike. I am so happy you are going to come over and I can't wait for you to meet Esme, she has been so excited to meet you. I talk about you all the time and so does Jasper."

My head snapped around to look at the honey blond wanting to know what she had meant by that, but I got no response. He simply sat there picking at his food, but never eating. Man they must each a bunch at home to make up for what they _never _ate at school. I finished eating and couldn't help, but fret over what exactly would happen this Friday. I never had been good around new people, but I would be polite because my parents had raised me that way. With a sigh I got up and dumped my tray before quickly leaving the cafeteria.

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What the fuck had I agreed to? As I held on to Jasper as she sped down the road I suddenly started to regret my decision. I wasn't feeling well to begin with and I thought I may be coming down with a case of the flu. I had tried telling Rosalie and Alice I didn't want to risk making anyone sick, but they said everyone in the family had really strong immune systems and not to worry about. So this is the reason I am about ready to throw up all over Jasper Hale's back which probably would not be the best impression I could make. How was I supposed to be on my best behavior when I could barely stand? I hadn't even wanted to go to school, but I did because I wasn't about to fuck up my no days missed thing I had going.

It didn't take us long to get the Cullen's. Well not as long as I had expected. They lived on the very outskirts of town and owned the only house on the street. It was huge, I mean I knew they had money, but this house was like probably one of the most dazzling things I had ever seen. My parent's entire house would fit in the entryway of this place I was sure.

"I know it is a little grand darlin', but what did you expect a doctors house who fosters kids to look like?" Jasper took his hand and helped me off the bike. I nodded my thanks and followed him inside.

It took me a little longer to get inside because the world seemed to have started spinning. I am not quite sure what it was that smelt so strange, but the closer we got to the house and the worse it got. I felt like my chest was going to either explode or cave in on itself. I raised my hand to place it over my heart as I tried to make it up the few steps to the porch, but I never got there. I fell to my hands and knees and then I both felt and heard Jasper crouch down next to me. His voice was laced with concern.

"Leah, are you alright?" He reached out to touch my cheek and I flinched away from the cold. My skin was on fire and his touch had actually the hurt. "Carlisle!"

I heard the door open though I could not find the strength to lift my head up and look at him. My stomach along with all the bones in my body was twisting and I wondered if I were dying. This was like no case of the flu I'd ever had before. Without any warning of any kind I found myself morphing and changing if that makes sense at all. My mind seemed to expand and I could hear voices inside of my head. Sam, Paul, and Jared were all there talking at once and I couldn't make sense of it.

I wanted to ask Jasper if he heard the voices as well, but when I looked up at him I didn't see Jasper, I saw a monster in his place instead. I mean he looked like Jasper with his honey blond hair and everything. I knew that he was my friend and the same guy I had a slight crush on, but in this moment he did not look like the same sweet guy I had known for a month. He wasn't the Southern charmer either. When I say he transformed into a monster I meant it. He was crouched and he was snarling with his arms extended at his sides and his fingers looked like claws that should belong to Freddy Krueger. His eyes had gone from golden to black and I could read the hate inside of them. He hated me for some reason and he was going to kill me. He was a killer and for some reason realizing this made me a protective urge coil in my stomach and I lunged. Before I had a chance to reach I was grabbed midair by Edward who was running as fast as he could in the other direction even as I struggled.

_They are monsters!_

_You must kill them!_

_Fight back Leah our ancestors have made you strong enough to take down the cold ones._

The voices were there again and this time I listened to them. I could feel that I was strong and the stories of the shape-shifters were flying through my head. Had I been chosen to be a warrior? I snapped my jaws at Edward's face and he dropped me quickly when I almost connected. I could have run from him, but I wanted to kill him. He deserved to die even though technically he was already dead. I slowly began to circle him. I would make my ancestors proud. I had to look away from his face because I didn't want to associate this creature of the living dead as one of my friends.

"Leah please calm down." His voice was strained and I took the chance to look up at Edward. He didn't look like a monster. He was still just old penny head to me, but wasn't that how they survived? They tried to be normal to trick us by blending it. This was a mask he was a killer and needed to be put down. They had probably only been friends with me so that they could close enough to me and then have me for lunch literally. "We never intended to harm you. My family and I are different from our kind. We only hunt animals and stay away from human blood. You know how our eyes are yellow? If we fed off of humans they would be red. Look in to my eyes Leah and you will know I am telling you the truth."

I hesitated looking in to his eyes because on that one show Vampire Diaries they could do this weird glamour thing and I wasn't sure if the Cullen's had that kind of power or not. When he whispered 'trust me' I looked up and I only saw my friend, the one who had been there for me since I came to Forks. He was a little strange, but he and his siblings were the only friends I had and yet what choice did I have? I had a duty. I needed to protect my tribe from the cold ones and he was a cold one friend or not. With a growl I pushed all thoughts of friendship to the side and ran towards him only to collide with a hard body. I looked up to see Jasper growling and standing protectively in front of his brother.

I lunged and he wrapped his arm around my neck. I could tell he didn't want to hurt me and that made it worse. He was supposed to want me dead. It would make things so much easier if he tried to kill me because whether he succeeded or not it would be what I would expect a leech to do. He was being too nice for a supposed monster. I snapped my jaws and thrashed trying to get free and eventually he released his hold on me and I took a few steps back as I got ready to attack again. When my eyes met his I couldn't move. I was frozen and from my point of view being frozen around a bunch of the living dead could not be a good thing.

Why did it have to be him? The first guy who had made me feel anything since Sam. Why did Jasper have to be one of these monsters? The other Cullen's I was friends with, but Jasper was more than that. He was the one Cullen besides Rosalie I just clicked with and had this instant connection. I couldn't kill him, I knew I couldn't. Even if he did try to come after me I am not sure I would be able to do anything. I whimpered and looked at him again. His eyes on fire with hatred and that is when I fled. I couldn't take this shit anymore. I wasn't sure where I would go, but I had to get out of here.

"Leah!" I heard both Jasper and Edward call after me, but I did not stop or turn around. I kept running hoping that maybe I could run straight out of this nightmare. "Leah, please wait! Stay here where we can figure this out!"

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I had planned to skip the next week of school, but then I realized it would fuck up my attendance record and so I made the choice to go. I had spent the weekend in La push learning the truth of what I was and what was expected of me. Everyone had tried convincing me to come home, but I had declined. I did not want to go back to La Push especially now that I was in a pack my ex ran. It was more important than ever to get some space between us since he was constantly in my head.

I hadn't seen or spoken to the Cullen's and I planned to keep it that way. I skipped first period on Monday and in all of my other classes I chose a different seat if I had been previously sitting next to one of the parasites. At lunch I almost went to our table and I could see them all waiting for me. It was like they were willing to forget what had happened, but I couldn't do it. I ended up sitting with Bella and her friends, but I left halfway through lunch since I could feel the intense gave from Jasper on my back. I thought I would be home free for the rest of the day, but that was not meant to be because the honey blond followed me out of the cafeteria and cornered me in the hallway.

"Why did you leave so suddenly the other night?" He hissed and placed his hand on my arm as he had done countless times before, but it was different now and I had to keep reminding myself of this fact.

Wrenching my arm away from him I took a few steps back. "Well I could ask why you looked about ready to eat me, but we both know the answer. You're a fucking leech!"

"And you're a dog." He snapped his eyes going black again like they had the other night before he quickly calmed down. "This doesn't mean that we have to be enemies Leah. We were friends before and we can be friends now."

"No we can't." I replied and looked at him once more before I started to walk away again. "I'm sorry I almost killed you. I was filled in on the treaty this weekend and I won't step foot on your land again."

A sad expression crossed his face. "You are free to come to our home whenever you want. The treaty is void when it comes to you. You are not just a shifter Leah you have become our family."

"Yeah whatever." I hissed as my eyes narrowed before I walked off. What was he trying to do? We couldn't be friends even if I wanted to be. We had always been more than friends anyways well to me we had.

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It has been four month's since I talked to Jasper or any of the Cullen's for that matter. A lot had happened in that short time. Bella actually started dating Edward and we got in to a huge fight about it because I tried to warn her to stay away without actually spilling their secret since it would spill mine, but she thought I was jealous or something and actually told me so to my face. I told she was stupid and didn't know what she was getting in to and we haven't talked sense. I guess I could have worded it better, but I was trying to keep her alive and all she could do was bitch and call me jealous. If she wanted to be a vampire's chew toy then so be it. I wasn't her fucking baby sitter or whatever.

As of right now I was patrolling the woods in Forks. I usually took my turn patrolling on the weekends because of school. Since I had refused to go back to La Push I was allowed to protect Forks from other vampires that were not the Cullen's and to me that was better than nothing, but the one problem was there did not seem to be other vampires around. There had been a group of three and they caused trouble with Bella, but the Cullen's took care of the blond male and the other two ran off before I could have any fun. They were really killing my buzz lately.

I sighed and decided to do one more round before heading back to Charlie's place. Just as I almost finished my circle I saw a deer. It was young probably barely a year old and I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten since yesterday and while the idea of eating raw freaked me out I was so tempted to eat this deer and finally I thought I would. I got ready to pounce well all of a sudden the deer was gone and a few feet away Jasper had it pinned to the ground as he sucked the life out of the poor creature. I am not sure who I was angrier at, me for not hearing him or Jasper for stealing my food. He probably did it on purpose to piss me off.

I quickly phased back to human and slipped on my shorts and a tank top I kept in a pouch tied around my leg. I made my way over to him and saw that he had already buried the creature. "That was mine!"

"I got it first." He replied without looking my way which for some odd reason only made me angrier.

"I saw it first!" I growled and he finally turned to look at me with a smirk.

There was a bit of blood on his hand and he deliberately raised the limb to his lips and licked away the blood. "Well as I said before I got it first you were too slow and so you lost out on a meal. It is the rule of the natural world darlin'. If you cannot take what you claim as yours then you lose out simple as that."

With a screech I barreled towards him. I only saw red as I tackled him to the ground and wrestled for control. Since I was not in my wolf form he managed to take over easily and roll us over until he was on top of me. "Calm down Leah I do not want to hurt you."

"Fuck you!" I spat and tried to buck him off of me. I wasn't sure why I was so angry, but then words just started spurting out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them. I hadn't even realized I had felt that way until Heard the words out loud. "Why did you have to be one of them? Did you know that I was going to change? Were you and your family trying to get information from me? Was being my friend some kind of sick joke?"

"My friendship towards you was always real." He whispered and eased up on his tight grip. He was still pinning me down to the forest floor, but I knew I could escape if I wanted to the only problem was that I didn't want to escape and this realization freaked me out. "Everything I ever felt for you was real and you just threw it all away. You wouldn't even try to work things out. Was it so easy for you? Do you know how long it has been since I felt a connection with anyone?"

"You lied to me." I said in a tone softer than his. "Why didn't you tell me what you were?"

"You never asked." Jasper said truthfully and for a few seconds all we did was lock our gazes.

This was the Jasper that I had grown to be friends with. The same boy who laughed when he let me drive his motorcycle in around the high school parking lot, the one who helped me cram all night for my history test, and the one man who made me feel someone after Sam. This was the Jasper Hale I knew and not the one I had created in my mind when I found out what he really was.

Without warning I raised my head and crashed my lips to his. He was frozen in shock for a moment, but soon he was kissing me back. I bit his bottom lip and return he reached down to cup my ass and pull me against his throbbing erection. In the back of my mind I knew we shouldn't be doing this and yet for the first time in my life I decided to say fuck it and throw caution to the wind. I reached for the top button of his shirt and quickly tore it off of his body. I don't know where this animal lust was coming from, but I had to admit that I actually kind of liked it.

I pulled my lips away from his and started to leave little love bites down his neck and neck and chest. I ran my tongue along the firm outline of his six pack and he shuttered. He was so cold, but it did not sting like it had the first time. His hands slid over my waist and in to the waistband of my jean shorts. His cold fingers touched my clit and I swore than I nearly jumped out of my skin at the contact before moaning out loud.

"You are so hot, but I always knew you would be. Your body matches your personality darlin'." The honey blond leech purred in to my ear before taking the shell between his teeth.

"Don't talk." I ordered because I knew that talking would fuck everything up. Someone would say something to get the other angry and whatever this is would be ruined before it even had a chance to start.

One of his fingers slid inside of my warmth and I groaned capturing my lips with his again. My nails raked down his chest and he hissed. For the first time I noticed his body was littered with scars. In fact it was almost as if he had been made up of scars. It is ironic if you think about, I am scarred on the inside and his are on the outside. Before I knew what was happening I was naked and on my back on the forest floor.

"You have to love vampire speed." Jasper smirked and in a flash he was naked as well and hovering over me. "You have no idea how long I have wanted this. You have no idea how long I have wanted you."

I wanted to tell him I felt the same, but that would make it real and I couldn't afford to make it real. I think he knew that since he did not press me to say anything in return. I reached down to stroke his length it was weird that his dick was cold and I was a little nervous about how that would feel, but I didn't really have a choice because it's not as if his body had a thermostat where I could turn up his body temperature. I positioned him at my entrance after a few strokes and suddenly he was inside of me and I wanted to scream out and so I did.

Our pace wasn't sweet or even loving. We were rough and we kept rolling around the forest floor trying to take control. I guess it was our dominant personalities coming out to play. I could feel his fingers leaving bruises on my skin and my nails actually started to leave indentions in his diamond hard flesh. I could feel every inch of him as he pounded in to me and when I came I swear that I saw stars in my eyes. I couldn't catch my breath and I had no words when he started to kiss my face and hold me close.

"I love you Leah."

0000000

For a year and a half Jasper and I did this on and off fucking thing whenever we would run in to each other. I never went over to the house to visit and before graduation I had never sat with them again. We never spoke about our situation and it was better that way. I had never told him I loved him, but I knew that he could feel my feelings for him. It is not as if I could turn off all of my emotions. Still, he knew that I wasn't ready to admit to feeling more and he was content with that.

Sometimes we would talk about the future and I told Jasper of my dream of attending Dartsmouth. He was actually trying to convince me to go to college with him next year and I was oh so tempted. I actually was planning to tell him yes if we survived the battle today. By the end of the day I would either be dead or headed to college in the fall. Both were extremely terrifying in my mind.

Other than our fucked up relationship Bella had caused problems and she wasn't even around anymore. The one who tried to eat her that the Cullen's ate his name was James I think, well his mate had created an army and we were headed for war in a matter of minutes actually. Bella had run off to be with some vamp from the Volturi apparently and she left this giant mess for us to clean up. I had to take care of Charlie I told him that she wanted to spend her summer before college exploring the world and she would be back. I knew that I would have to think of a better excuse soon.

Before I had time to think anymore we were given our cue and I leapt in to the action. I tore heads from bodies and things were going great until suddenly I felt as if I were a tube of toothpaste being squeezed so tight I would pop. I couldn't even gather enough air in to my lungs to yelp for help. I tried to wrestle free, but it was not working and I felt as if I were going to die. I could see Jasper in my line of sight and he suddenly turned around almost as if he had known I was watching him. A look of fury crossed over his face as he quickly made it over to me. He jumped in to the air and tore the head of the leech from its body and I fell to the ground phasing back to human form.

"Leah?" I could feel fingers on my face trying to get me to open my eyes. "Come on darlin' let me know you are alive."

It took me a few seconds to get enough air in to my lungs so that I could open my eyes and not feel as if I was going to throw up. I could see fighting going on all around us, well better yet burning. It looked as if we had won. "Hey Jasper?"

His eyes snapped to my face as he removed his jacket to cover up my nude form. "Yes darlin' I am here."

I coughed once and sat up. "This almost dying thing made me realize that what we have is fucked up, but it is ours. I want to go to college with you and I want to be open about the fact we are together. I love you and I think I have for a while now. That is why I couldn't kill you in the forest when you stole my dear."

He smirked slightly. "Is that what you have to tell yourself? Well alright I can play along with that. It had nothing to do with the fact I am simply a better fighter."

I rolled my eyes and took his hand as he helped me up. I looked at Sam who was glaring getting ready to say something, but I cut him off. "You can tell the elders I said to suck it and that I quit your stupid pack. I have a family of my own. A family I have been ignoring for much too long."

Then I embraced Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett and finally Carlisle and Esme when they came over. It's funny that I never would have thought life could be like this. It wasn't what I thought it was, but that only made it better in the end. I had a place where I belonged and it wasn't in La Push nor was it in Sam Uley's pack. I belonged with the Cullen's because as Jasper once told me I was family and they were mine.

THE END!

**AN: This is the next in my Christmas gift one-shot series and it was written for Lita of Jupiter and I hope that she likes it. It is the longest one yet, but it needed to be in order for me to get it all in. I know some parts could have been better, but I hurried because I have so many to do. Anyways, let me know if you all liked it or not.**

**Please R&R like always!**


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